


Unneeded Rescues

by asinineAnomaly



Category: NG (Visual Novel)
Genre: I mean Akira isn’t a phantom thief that’s where the problems arise, Phantom Thief AU, i write funny things that make myself go heehee, listen, me: sees the serious situation of Akira being kidnapped, me: what if I made the gang stupid as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29681097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asinineAnomaly/pseuds/asinineAnomaly
Summary: After Akira gets kidnapped one day, it’s up to phantom thieves Seiji and Kaoru to the rescue! Not that Akira can’t take care of himself...
Relationships: Amanome Seiji/Hazuki Kaoru/Kijima Akira
Kudos: 5





	Unneeded Rescues

**Author's Note:**

> Ok if you wanna like avoid the violent parts skip the paragraph that starts with “This thug reacted quickly...” and the paragraph that starts with “The door opened unceremoniously...”

Kaoru burst into the back room of the Black Rabbit, their (tentative) hideout, “Akira’s been kidnapped!”

Seiji, who was sitting on the couch and had paused when she came in, went back to eating his chips, “So?”

“So?! We should go save him!” Kaoru exclaimed.

Seiji rolled his eyes, “Akira’s a big boy, he can take care of himself.”

Kaoru slapped a crumpled piece of paper onto the table, “They left a ransom note.”

Seiji picked it up and scanned it, “This is the second worst ransom note I’ve ever seen,” he scoffed, shaking his head, “they didn’t even say where they took him.”

“See? We gotta— wait, second worst?”

“Well, the kid was ten so—“

“Never mind,” Kaoru  _ really _ didn’t want to hear the rest of that sentence, “what do mean they didn’t say where they took him?”

Seiji handed her the note, “It just says bring the amount here signed, Street Gang. For that matter it doesn’t even give an amount either, it just says “amount here”.”

Kaoru went over it again and twitched, “What kind of name is Street Gang?”

Seiji shrugged, “It’s a surprisingly big group.”

Kaoru sighed in exasperation, “How are we supposed to find him, then?”

Seiji ate another chip, “Oh, I already know where their hideout is.”

Kaoru blinked, reeling back in surprise, “You do?”

Seiji smirked, “You know I love finding info on these idiotic groups and crushing them.”

“And stealing from them.”

He nodded, “And stealing from them.”

“Ok!” Kaoru got back on track, “That solves that problem at least,” she said, sounding a little more upbeat than before, “now, let’s go rescue, Akira!”

Seiji rolled his eyes, “I still think he can take care of himself.”

Kaoru rolled her eyes in response, “If it goes well, you could see him beat some people up.”

Seiji considered this…he  _ did _ like seeing Akira kick ass. Especially idiots that thought he was the easiest target of the three. Seiji nodded, “Alright.”

Kaoru grabbed his hand, “Let’s rescue Akira!”

After getting in their respective outfits, Kaoru’s lovely military Lolita and Seiji’s handsome suit, the duo headed to the hideout, a warehouse that had been refashioned into a superstore, that had been refashioned into a hideout.

Kaoru let go of his hand to check her shotgun, making sure everything was in place, “Ok, all good, let’s storm this place!”

Although he would never admit it, Seiji was kind of disappointed she let go, “Shouldn’t we, you know, go over the layout or talk about what to do if we run into anyone?”

Kaoru looked around, “There’s no one out here guarding the place, so…” 

“That’s true,” he admitted, “but isn’t that kind of weird?”

Kaoru thought about it, “It is kinda weird.”

“Usually there’s at least a couple of people outside, not to mention someone patrolling outside, and a few groups inside,” Seiji listed, recalling his previous research, “not to mention anyone patrolling inside, and the leader, although I doubt he’s here.”

Kaoru blinked in surprise, “Wow, you really know your stuff.”

Seiji smirked, “What can I say, I’m an expert at getting in and out of places.”

“Very impressive,” Kaoru said in a sing-song voice, “but, back to our rescue mission. We should just storm in,” she paused, “while on guard.”

Seiji just looked at her, “You’re not very good at the whole stealth thing, are you?”

She smiled, “I’m good at acting.”

“… Fair enough,” he thought for a second, “let’s go through a window, there should be a fire escape somewhere.”

The two separated, surveying the outside of the building, “Found it!” Kaoru called, looking at a rusty fire escape beneath an open window. When no one came running, she looked around but didn’t see Seiji. She ran around the perimeter, smiling when she found him on the other side of the building, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the other side, “found it!” She pointed to the window which now had a thug sticking their head out of it.

“… Shit,” Seiji cursed, pulling out a knife.

Kaoru was quick to move, grabbing her gun and aiming at the thug. She pulled the trigger and the thug fell back in the window, “Nice,” she muttered. Seiji looked at her. 

“It usually takes a couple of shots.”

The two quickly climbed up the fire escape, keeping an eye on the window and praying no one else would come out. They safely made it in, and Seiji searched the body of the thug.

“… There’s no blood,” he said, confused.

“What?”

“There’s no blood around the body. You missed him.”

“What?” Kaoru looked at the body, then at the wall, which was now adorned with a bullet hole, “huh. So he just… fainted from hearing the gunshot?” She looked back at the body, “that’s kinda pathetic.”

“It’s  _ very _ pathetic,” Seiji agreed, “I’m surprised no one’s come by though.”

“Yeah, why is this place so empty?” Kaoru looked around, “it’s weird.”

“They might be setting up an ambush,” Seiji offered.

“Let’s keep our guard up.”

The duo started down the nondescript hallway, finding rooms that were conveniently labeled.

“Office… Accounting… Break Room,” they opened the door to the break room. A member of the gang was sitting at the table, eating a sandwich.

“Really? I’m trying to eat my sandwich! I don’t want to do this, man!” the thug whined, “I’m on my break!”

They closed the door to the break room. Kaoru grabbed a potted plant and did her best to block the door with it, hopefully stopping the thug from leaving. Or at least tripping him when he left. 

The pair continued exploring the strangely quiet headquarters, following the hallway down until they got to a door labeled “Planning room.” They looked at each other before heading in. The room was surprisingly clean, looking more like a presentation room for an office than some gang’s headquarters. There was a set of filing cabinets in one corner of the room, and a moveable white board. 

“Well,” Seiji started, “at least they aren’t stupid enough to leave plans just lying around,” he tried the drawers of the filing cabinet, which were locked. He took out his lock picks and started breaking into them.

While he was doing that, Kaoru flipped over the whiteboard, “Plan to catch the phantom thief,” she read.

Seiji threw his arms down in exasperation, “Oh, come on!”

The plan was laid out like so, accompanied by crude drawings of Seiji and Akira:

Step 1: Lure boy seen with him

Step 2: Leave ransom note under door

Step 3: Ambush at meeting spot

Step 4: Capture him

Step 5: Profit

“… This is so stupid,” Seiji said, “I literally don’t know how to react.”

“They might be setting up an ambush at the meeting place,” Kaoru offered, “they may have sent too many people there and left this place deserted.”

“That’s not a good allocation of people.”

“They’re obviously not very smart. I mean, I’m nowhere in this plan.”

While they were talking, a pair of goons appeared in the doorway. One of them turned to the other, “I told you we shouldn’t have left.”

“Shut up! You know I don’t know the layout of this place.”

“There’s two hallways! One of them goes specifically towards the bathrooms! If it’s not down one, you can just try the other!”

“I’m new—“ they were cut off by Kaoru shooting at them, easily taking down one, and giving Seiji time to move and stab the other, quickly disposing of the two. 

With that, they started going through the place again, down the hall.

“Now, all we need to know is where they’re keeping Akira,” Seiji said.

Kaoru nodded, “This place is pretty straightforward, we should be able to find it.”

They turned the corner of the hall, where they found another thug. 

“Or we could just ask this guy.”

This thug reacted quickly, pulling out a knife and haphazardly charging towards them. Seiji quickly pulled out his own knives, holding them in a reverse grip and ducking quickly. Not that it was hard, with how the goon was going towards them. He slashed the thug’s torso, tearing through fabric and skin alike, then slashed at her arm, successfully cutting into it and causing the thug to drop the knife. The thug barely had time to react as he switched to a natural grip and stabbed the thug in the leg, making her fall to the ground.

Seiji smirked dangerously, “You should get that checked out,” he said, mockingly. He dropped his smirk, “now, where are you keeping Akira?”

“W-who?” The thug muttered.

“High school boy. In uniform.”

“O-oh,” the thug took a bloodstained hand off her leg and pointed right, “d-down the hall. Hostage room.”

Seiji started down the hall, Kaoru quickly catching up and humming at him. 

“Akira’s not the only one who can fight,” Seiji said.

“Oh? Do you want a kiss for that?” 

Seiji leaned towards her and tapped his cheek, which Kaoru gave a quick peck to. Seiji smiled, and the pair continued down the hall. The duo stopped in front of a door very conveniently labeled “Hostages.”

“Wait, wait, before we go in, we need a plan,” Kaoru said, stopping Seiji from opening the door.

“Now you think we need a plan,” Seiji said, flatly.

Kaoru nodded, “Security’s been pretty lax so far. There’s been way less people than you predicted. We haven’t seen anyone leave, so everyone must be in there.”

Seiji had to admit she had a point, “Something must have happened. . . Probably with Akira,” he concluded.

As if confirming it, something loudly slammed into the door. 

Kaoru gasped, “That could be Akira! We have to get through this door!” she immediately reached for the knob before slamming her shoulder into the door when it wouldn’t turn, “why won’t it open!?”

Seiji squatted, examining the lock, “It’ll take me a minute, but I should be able to pick it,” he moved to get out his gear, giving just enough room for a bullet to whiz past his head and break the lock, “. . . or you could just shoot it, I guess.”

The door opened unceremoniously, displaying an enthralling sight. A body fell to the floor in front of the duo, not that either paid it any mind. No, they were both too busy staring at Akira in the middle of the room, surrounded by unconscious bodies, disposing of the last of the thugs. He shot a punch at one, directly hitting their face and causing them to stumble before ducking to dodge a punch from another one, taking the opportunity to do a leg sweep that took them down. The first thug regained their footing, at the same time a third came charging at Akira, who ducked and grabbed the first thug to fling at the third, successfully slamming the two bodies together, and causing their bodies to hit the floor. Akira locked eyes with a fourth and the two went dashing towards each other, Akira launching himself to kick when he got close. The thug tried in vain to block this, taking a painful blow to the arms and stumbling. Somehow, this didn’t deter them from sending a kick towards Akira, who managed to block and counter with a palm strike straight to the thug’s nose, and then proceeded to grab the thug’s head and thrust his knee into it, causing the thug to crumple to the ground. Akira looked around manically for any more goons, a wild look on his face, calming down when he was sure there weren’t any left.

Akira scowled, wiping blood from his bruised lip. He was nowhere near as beat up as anyone else in the room, but he was still disheveled. His uniform shirt was a rumpled mess. It was missing a couple buttons, exposing his muscular chest, stained with blood that was  _ definitely _ not his, and absolutely ruined. The tie that usually hung loosely around his neck was missing, and his collar mussed. He ran a hand through his messy hair, doing little to fix it, but exposing the bruises on his arm. He was clearly roughed up, but that only enhanced rugged appearance. He stalked towards Seiji and Kaoru who stood with similar slack-jawed expressions, the same thought running through their heads.  _ Holy shit. _

“Took you long enough,” Akira said, “I had to take care of this on my own,” his expression changed as though he was remembering something, “oh,” he rifled through his pockets, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper, and pushing it towards Seiji, “thought you guys might like this.” 

“Uh, thanks,” that snapped Seiji out of it. He examined the piece of paper before pocketing it. He turned to Kaoru, “Told you he could take care of himself.”

“You were right,” she conceded, too busy playing the scene back in her head.

Akira rolled his eyes, “Let’s go home.”

Kaoru blinked, before grinning, “How about a date instead?” She offered.

Akira almost blushed. Almost. “. . . Maybe, later. After I get cleaned up.” 

As they were leaving, Kaoru glanced at Seiji before grabbing one of Akira’s hands. Seiji glanced back at her, grabbing the other. Akira blushed, “You’ll get your gloves dirty,” he muttered. 

Kaoru smiled, “They’re already dirty. Besides, I haven’t seen you all day! So, I wanna hold your hand.”

Akira looked at Seiji, “And you’re ok with this?” 

Seiji smirked playfully, “I can’t let her have all the fun, now can I, boyfriend?” 

Akira’s blush deepened, “Shut up,” he muttered.

But he didn’t let go.

**Author's Note:**

> What’s up this was inspired by the folks in the spirit hunter server and honestly I had a lot of fun writing it!! It’s been a while since I’ve posted something on here (whoops) and I’m kinda glad this is the first thing I did... I really love ng and this trio so here you go
> 
> Anywho thank you very much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!


End file.
